bossy

Bossy is an English adjective used to describe a person who tends to give orders and assert control over others, often in a domineering or overbearing way. The label generally carries a negative evaluation and may imply that the person discounts others’ input or uses authority inappropriately.

Origin and nuance: The term combines "boss" with the suffix "-y" and has been in common use since at least the 18th century. It is frequently applied to children but can describe adults as well. The word often carries gendered connotations, with girls and women disproportionately described as bossy in comparison with men who display similar levels of assertiveness, even when the behavior is the same.

Social context and debate: In the 2010s a public discussion arose around labeling girls as bossy. The Ban Bossy campaign, associated with Lean In and the Girl Scouts, argued that the term can undermine leadership aspirations in girls by discouraging them from speaking up. Critics contend that such labeling reinforces gender stereotypes and that clearer terms like assertive, confident, or directive are preferable for describing behavior without casting a person as inherently negative.

Usage and guidance: When describing behavior, it can help to focus on actions rather than personality whenever possible. For example, describing someone as being assertive in meetings rather than "bossy" reduces value judgments. In professional writing, more neutral terms such as directive or authoritative may be more precise if leadership is the point.

See also: assertiveness, leadership, gender and language, stereotype, Ban Bossy.