Lifeposition

Lifeposition is a concept in transactional analysis (TA) describing a stable stance a person holds toward themselves and others. It embodies a basic judgment about self and others that guides how one interprets interactions and communicates. In TA, the term life position is more common, but lifeposition is widely understood as referring to this idea.

TA identifies four primary life positions: I'm OK, You're OK; I'm OK, You're not OK; I'm Not OK, You're OK; and I'm Not OK, You're Not OK. The first is viewed as healthiest and most functional, supporting open communication. The others can produce defensive, submissive, or critical patterns depending on context. People may move between positions across relationships.

Life positions develop early in life from caregivers' messages and cultural norms, and are reinforced by transactions among ego states—Parent, Adult, and Child. The position shapes self-esteem, expectations of others, and preferred communication styles. Recognizing a lifeposition can illuminate recurring conflicts and negotiation styles.

In therapy, coaching, and organizational work, identifying a lifeposition helps tailor interventions to foster constructive interaction. Examples: I'm OK, You're OK supports collaborative dialogue; I'm Not OK, You're OK may reflect dependence; I'm OK, You're Not OK can underlie controlling behavior; I'm Not OK, You're Not OK often relates to withdrawal. Techniques such as reframing and script analysis are used to explore and adjust lifepositions.

Critics note that TA's lifeposition framework simplifies personality and has limited empirical validation across cultures. It functions best as a practical descriptive tool in counseling, education, and teams, rather than a comprehensive theory.