tryingyou

Tryingyou is a term used in online discourse to describe the deliberate act of attempting to understand another person’s experiences, beliefs, or emotions by figuratively trying on their perspective. The word blends “trying” and “you,” emphasizing viewpoint-taking as an intentional practice rather than an automatic feeling of sympathy. In use, it can function as a description of behavior or as a directive to engage more empathetically in conversations.

Origins and usage are informal, with the phrase appearing in various online discussions during the late 2010s and early 2020s. It is commonly employed in debates about empathy, conflict resolution, and productive disagreement. Some writers use it as a noun (a tryingyou moment) or as a verb phrase (trying you in this discussion). Because it is a colloquial term, its exact connotations can vary by community.

In practice, tryingyou is praised by some as a constructive step toward clearer communication and reduced misinterpretation, encouraging people to test their assumptions by considering how someone with a different background might experience a given situation. Critics warn that it can become performative, superficial, or condescending if used to judge others rather than to understand them. The effectiveness of tryingyou often hinges on sincerity, context, and how it is balanced with other communication practices such as active listening and evidence-based reasoning.

See also: empathy, perspective-taking, active listening, online discourse.