absentrather

Absentrather is a neologism in English used to describe a person who tends to avoid social obligations by preferring to be absent. The term can function as a noun (an absentrather) and less commonly as an attributive adjective (an absentrather attitude). Etymology blends the words absent and rather, with earliest online attestations unclear; it appears in casual discussions and informal writing, gaining some traction in the late 2010s and 2020s in contexts such as meetings, events, or online participation.

Definition and usage: An absentrather denotes someone who voluntarily opts out of participation rather than missing for external reasons. It is typically used lightheartedly or self-referentially to acknowledge a preference for nonparticipation. It is not a formal term and is not included in major dictionaries, so usage varies by speaker and community. In sentences, one might encounter: “She’s an absentrather and skipped the party again,” or “That absentrather attitude makes it hard to schedule with him.” It can be used as a noun or, less commonly, as an adjective describing a mindset or pattern of behavior.

Variants and context: The term is most common in informal online discourse, workplace chatter about attendance, or social media humor. It is rarely appropriate for formal writing. Some readers may view it as playful self-critique, while others see it as a label that could trivialize avoidance or withdrawal.

See also: avoidance, absenteeism, hermit, homebody, procrastination.