shadchan

A shadchan (plural shadchanim) is a Jewish matchmaker who arranges introductions that may lead to dating or marriage. The term derives from Hebrew shadchan, meaning mediator or go-between, and in Yiddish usage it is common across many Orthodox and Hasidic communities. The feminine form is shadchanit.

Role and process: A shadchan typically learns about clients’ backgrounds, religious observance, education, values, and preferences, often through interviews with individuals and families. They assess compatibility and propose matches, then organize introductions and set up meetings. Shadchanim usually operate with discretion and confidentiality, and may require consent from both sides before sharing contact information. Some work as volunteers within synagogues or community organizations; others run professional matchmaking services.

Scope and settings: Shadchanim commonly work within specific communities or networks, and many focus on matches that align with particular religious or cultural norms, such as level of observance and family expectations. In Orthodox contexts, dating is often supervised or guided by families and community norms, whereas in more liberal circles the role may be less formal. While some matches are arranged entirely through the shadchan, couples are generally free to decide how to proceed and to determine their own level of involvement in the process.

Ethics and critique: Supporters say matchmaking provides guidance in a complex dating landscape and helps preserve shared values. Critics raise concerns about privacy, pressure to marry within certain groups, and potential gatekeeping. In modern practice, professional and volunteer shadchanim typically emphasize consent, respect for autonomy, and clear boundaries to address these concerns.