limerent

Limerence is a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book "Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love." It describes an involuntary state of intense romantic infatuation with another person, often characterized by intrusive thoughts, an overwhelming desire for reciprocation, and mood swings dependent on the perceived actions of the love interest. This state is distinct from love itself, though it can sometimes be a precursor or component of a loving relationship.

Key features of limerence include obsessive thinking about the object of affection, a strong desire for their attention and approval, and a fear of rejection. Individuals in a limerent state often idealize their love interest, focusing on their positive qualities while downplaying or ignoring any flaws. Their emotional state can fluctuate dramatically, experiencing elation when they believe their feelings are reciprocated and deep despair when they perceive indifference or rejection.

Limerence is not a diagnosable mental disorder but rather a psychological phenomenon. While it can be a powerful and consuming experience, it is generally considered a temporary phase. The intensity of limerence typically subsides over time, either through reciprocation and the development of a relationship, or through the eventual fading of the feelings. The duration can vary widely, from a few months to several years.