limerence

Limerence is a state of intense infatuation or obsession with another person, characterized by intrusive and unwanted thoughts about the object of affection, a strong desire for reciprocation, and emotional dependence on the other person's actions and feelings. It is often described as a form of obsessive love, though it is distinct from true love as it is typically more fleeting and focused on the idealized version of the person rather than their true self.

The term limerence was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book "Love and Limerence." Tennov described limerence as an involuntary state that can be triggered by a perceived sign of interest from another person, even if that sign is minimal or misinterpreted. This state can involve intense emotional highs when there is perceived reciprocation and devastating lows when there is rejection or indifference.

Key features of limerence include intrusive thoughts, a fear of rejection, a longing for reciprocation, idealization of the love interest, and a focus on their perceived flaws or positive qualities. Sufferers may experience mood swings, anxiety, and a diminished capacity to concentrate on other aspects of their lives. Limerence can impact relationships, work, and overall well-being. While it can sometimes evolve into a stable, loving relationship, it often fades, leaving the limerent individual to deal with the emotional fallout. There is no specific treatment for limerence, but managing intrusive thoughts and focusing on self-care are often recommended.