demisexuality

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation defined by experiencing sexual attraction predominantly or exclusively after forming a strong emotional bond with a person. People who identify as demisexual may not feel sexual attraction based on appearance, flirting, or initial interactions. In this sense, demisexuality describes a position on the asexual spectrum, sometimes referred to as grey-A, where sexual attraction is not readily aroused but can develop with emotional closeness. The focus is on the onset of sexual attraction rather than romantic orientation; demisexual individuals can be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, or attracted to people of any gender.

Origins of the term are informal and rooted in online asexual and LGBTQ+ communities. It emerged in discussions during the early 2010s and has since been used widely in self-description and educational contexts, though it is not a clinically defined category.

Variability is a key feature: the threshold for forming an emotional bond varies among individuals, with some requiring deep trust or sustained closeness, and others developing attraction after longer periods of closeness. Demisexuality does not determine romantic preferences or relationship styles, and a demisexual person can pursue any type of relationship.

Common misconceptions include the idea that demisexuality equals shyness or disinterest in sex, or that it applies only to long-term partnerships. There is limited large-scale scientific research specific to demisexuality; most understanding comes from community discussions, surveys about attraction, and the broader study of the asexual spectrum.