patronising

Patronising, also patronizing, is an adjective used to describe behaviour or speech that, while presented as kindly or helpful, betrays a sense of superiority over the person being addressed. A patronising remark or tone implies that the other person is less competent or knowledgeable and is often intended to control, manage, or gently guide them, rather than to collaborate.

Origin and spelling: The verb to patronize has long carried two senses: to act as a patron or supporter, and to treat someone in a condescending way. The latter sense emerged in English in the 17th century. In modern usage, the British spelling is patronising and the American spelling patronizing; the corresponding nouns are patronisation and patronization.

Usage: Patronising language can take the form of oversimplified explanations, speaking slowly, making unsolicited 'helpful' comments, or assuming a person cannot understand. It is distinct from genuine kindness or constructive feedback, though sometimes the line is blurred.

Contexts and effect: In personal relationships, workplaces, or customer service, patronising communication can damage self-esteem, undermine autonomy, and provoke resistance. People may respond by insisting on equal terms or disengaging.

See also: condescension, paternalism, respect, equality.