pamamanhikan

Pamamanhikan is a traditional Filipino pre-wedding ritual in which the groom and his family visit the bride’s family to formally ask for the daughter’s hand in marriage and to discuss wedding arrangements. The gathering serves as a social acknowledgment of the union and a step toward parental consent and mutual planning.

The event typically takes place at the bride’s family home and involves the couple, the groom’s parents or representatives, the bride’s parents, and sometimes other relatives. The discussion usually covers the couple’s intent to marry, proposed wedding timing, and expectations for household roles and responsibilities. In many communities, the discussion may also touch on arrangements such as dowry or arrhae (symbolic coins) and other customary gifts, though practices vary.

Gifts and hospitality are common elements, with both sides exchanging tokens as a sign of goodwill. The bride’s acceptance of the arrangement is often formalized in this meeting, and in some cases the engagement is announced or reinforced. The practice strengthens family ties and provides a forum for aligning on wedding plans, finances, and responsibilities.

In contemporary settings, pamamanhikan ranges from a formal, traditional visit to a simpler, more casual meeting and may occur in urban or mixed-cultural contexts. Some couples hold the event only after a formal engagement, while others integrate it into the wedding planning timeline, with regional and family variations influencing its form.