amae

Amae is a Japanese term that describes an emotional state in which a person relies upon another, seeking indulgence or permissiveness in a relationship. The word derives from the verb amaeru, meaning “to indulge” or “to allow.” In sociological and psychological discussions it often appears as a feature of Japanese interpersonal dynamics, particularly within family and workplace settings.

The concept was first articulated by psychologist Kitaro Nishida in the early 20th century, and it was later expanded by psychoanalyst Miki Shigekoto in the 1950s. Nishida used amae to explain a culturally specific form of attachment that differs from Western notions of dependency. Shigekoto described it as a “passive dependence on the other” through which the child expects an unquestioning response from the parent. In both accounts, amae is considered a psychological circuit that habituates cooperative behavior through anticipation of benevolent, non‑threatening reactions.

Mahalo Shimizu and others note that in Japanese society, amae can manifest in consumer behavior, employee‑management interactions, and social networking. It underpins the “service before self” ethic in many East Asian cultures, where individuals may defer to a superior or elder's wishes, believing they will ultimately be cared for. Critics point out that excessive amae may hinder personal autonomy or reinforce hierarchical power structures.

In contemporary scholarship amae has been examined as a case study for cross‑cultural differences in attachment theory. Researchers compare it with constructs such as “dependent belonging” in Western cultures, concluding that while the general human desire for security is universal, its cultural expressions—especially the expectation of unconditional approval—vary markedly across societies.