mertua

Mertua is a kinship term used in Indonesian and Malay languages to refer to one's spouse’s parents. It can denote both the father-in-law and the mother-in-law, depending on context, and is commonly used in everyday speech. To specify gender, speakers may say ayah mertua (father-in-law) or ibu mertua (mother-in-law), while mertua alone usually covers the couple’s parents-in-law in general.

The term is widely used across Indonesia, Malaysia, Brunei, and among Malay-speaking communities in Singapore. It functions as a respectful label in family conversations and social interactions, reflecting traditional expectations of deference toward elders and the extended family. In many households, the mertua play a central role in family decisions, wedding ceremonies, and the upbringing of children, though the degree of involvement varies by family and region.

Cultural norms surrounding mertua can influence marital dynamics. Some couples seek blessing and approval from their parents-in-law for significant choices, while contemporary families may establish boundaries that favor independence. Language and usage adapt with changing social practices; specifying “mertua laki-laki” or “mertua perempuan” helps avoid ambiguity when discussing in-laws.

In summary, mertua is the standard term for a spouse’s parents in Indonesian and Malay-speaking contexts, with distinctions for mother-in-law and father-in-law as needed. It encapsulates a set of cultural expectations about family hierarchy, respect, and intergenerational relationships.