hyväksyväkseni
hyväksyväkseni is a Finnish word derived from the verb "hyväksyä," which means "to accept" or "to approve." The suffix "-väkseni" indicates a first-person singular translative case, meaning "for my acceptance" or "in order for me to accept." Therefore, hyväksyväkseni functions as an adverbial phrase, expressing the purpose or condition of an action from the speaker's perspective.
It is used to signify that an action is being performed with the intention of gaining acceptance
The phrase can also imply a sense of seeking validation or needing to come to terms with